


i'm still alive but i'm barely breathing

by larryjohnlock



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Blow Job, Breathplay, D/s elements, Gay Sex, Kink Exploration, Kink Negotiation, M/M, PWP, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Top!Harry, bottom!Louis, might not even be considered fluff, slight D/s, very little fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-29
Updated: 2014-01-29
Packaged: 2018-01-10 12:26:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1159742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/larryjohnlock/pseuds/larryjohnlock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis's ashamed of his kink, but he does tell Harry about it. </p><p>He thought Harry had forgotten about it, but then the next time they have sex, Harry remembers. </p><p>Basically, PWP and nothing else. (I don't know how you feel about <i>breathplay</i>, but if you don't like it you shouldn't read this, if you don't believe that this'll convert you. Otherwise, sorry!!)</p><p>Title from <b> The Script's Breakeven</b>. :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	i'm still alive but i'm barely breathing

**Author's Note:**

> this happened in the matters of hours and im so sorry for anything incoherent and yeah im gonna go now

 

When Harry asks him, he gets completely dumbfounded.

It's not that he didn't expect him to ask, it's just... Louis is ashamed of it. He's never told anyone before, and he's almost way too ashamed to even look it up sometimes even though he knows that no one will ever get to know that he'd been watching it. So the question makes him squirm uncomfortably in the bed, and he's even more ashamed because he's not supposed to feel like this. He shouldn't have to feel like this around _Harry_ , he knows that. Because Harry would never judge him, nor would he laugh in his face or tell him he's ridiculous. He knows that but he still can't fight off the stupid, irrational blush that colours his cheeks the stupid colour of red when Harry asks him.

"Would you like to do something else? I mean, try something new. Like, sex-wise."

And Harry doesn't mean to get him all flustered. He knows that too. But he does, he feels how his neck and cheeks is practically _burning up_ the pillow beneath his head and he really wouldn't mind dying right now. He's just had amazing sex, and he doesn't have to take Harry's confusion to why Louis isn't looking him in the eyes anymore. Or why he turns into a living tomato. Louis really wouldn't mind dying right now.

"It's - I think it's great." He squeaks out instead, figuring he ought to give Harry some kind of response to tell him that, _hey, i'm still alive._

Harry shifts on the bed, goes from laying besides Louis to props himself up on one elbow, looking down at Louis. A very red, flushed Louis. And there's no where for Louis to hide, he's stuck there, with those green eyes who's still a little bit glassy from the orgasm not too long ago. Louis averts his gaze to somewhere else, anywhere but on those eyes. Harry's collarbones catches his attention.

"Yeah, I think so too." Harry says softly and honest. "But I just want you to know, that if you ever want to try something different, you don't have to be ashamed of it."

Harry makes him want to cry. Because _of fucking course_ Harry's telling him not to be ashamed of it, though the inside of his brain is figuring out whether or not _you could actually cook a human being from just having a heavy blush._ And Louis thinks that his brain might be correct.

"Because you obviously are." Harry draws his bottom lip between his teeth, like wondering whether he should have left that unsaid or not. He probably should've, and Louis groans in frustration and embarrassment.

"It's nothing. 'M sorry." Louis says between his fingers, since he put his hands in front of his face just to escape Harry's gaze. It's not judging or anything, it's just, adding to the burning if you put it like that. Yeah, it's like Harry's the match and Louis' skin is the gasoline.

"Lou, baby, I don't want you to be ashamed. Obviously. That would be selfish." Harry's forehead creases into tiny folds, and Louis wants to scream because he's the one who put them there. Fuck. But he can't tell him, this isn't something normal. He's not normal.

"You're not selfish." Louis argues softly, still hands in front of his entire face. Harry shuffles closer, one hand slung around Louis' naked waist, tangles their sweaty legs together and it should be gross. But it's nice, and comforting to say the least.

"And I don't want to be. That's why I asked you, Lou. I want to do whatever makes you happy." Harry's hand that was previously on Louis waist, tries to pry Louis' own away from his face, and Louis is sure that his blush only gets even deeper, passing the tomato red and goes straight to the colour of wine or such. Harry succeeds after a minute of struggling, cups Louis cheek while still being propped up on one elbow.

"Babe, is there something you wanna try?"

Louis takes a sharp breath, his whole inside is screaming _yes, YES i want to,_ but he doesn't comply to it. He squirms a bit again, feels so exposed underneath Harry like this. He loves it, loves how much _bigger_ Harry is, how much broader and leaner Harry is. Maybe that's the root of the, of _the thing he'd like to try._

"Don't be ashamed, please. I don't want you to feel like you can't tell me." Harry pleas gently, thumb caressing Louis' cheekbone, soothingly. Louis opens his mouth, perhaps to protest, but then he realizes that he is ashamed. He really is, and he immediately closes it again. And opens it for a second, then closes it again.

"You don't have to tell me though, if it really is that hard to get out." Harry murmurs. "I just don't want you to have to feel like that, Lou. You know I'll love you no matter what."

"You'll think I'm a freak."

And it's so quiet, so quiet, that Harry almost misses it. Almost. Louis' whisper makes his eyes go wide, a frown deeper than before takes place on his forehead. How can Louis think something like that? His heart aches at the thought if it, and he immediately presses his nose to Louis' cheek.

"No, baby. No, no I'd never, _ever_ think that of you. Never. I - Louis don't you dare think something like that. _Never._ "

"Even I think I'm a freak." Louis whispers again, Harry feels the flutter of his eyelashes against his own skin. Louis is closing his eyes, shutting them tight, tight, tight, pressing against the tears that's threatening to spill over any second. It hurts so bad, to hear Louis say something like that, and he needs to tell him that, tell him and assure him that it's okay. Everything's okay, with Harry.

"No, Louis. You're not a freak, whatever you might like. It doesn't matter, it's okay. And, if you like it, then I'll probably like it to. I'm sure I'll love it, okay baby? You need to - I want you to trust me on this one." Harry taps him once on his cheek, and reluctantly Louis opens his eyes because he knows what that tap means.

He meets Harry's face, really up close and intimate, and Harry has a firm grip on both of his cheeks, making it impossible for him to turn away from him.

"I won't think you're a freak. I won't think any less of you. Hell, I told you that I like being spanked, and do you remember what you said? Do you, baby?" Harry asks him.

Louis eyes are glassy now, not from the previous orgasm no, it's because the tears are there, just waiting to trickle down his cheek. But, he nods, because he does remember. How could he forget that?

 

Harry had been less ashamed than Louis though, much less ashamed. They were eating in the living room, Harry snuggled up on Louis' chest with the box of chinese in his hands and Louis' hand playing in his hair.

"I'd like it if you spanked me." He had said, quiet but not shy. Louis spluttered for a second or two, before he nodded with half a smirk on his face.  
"Let's do it, then."

  
Now, Harry presses a chaste kiss onto Louis' lips, thumb still gently stroking his cheek.

"Tell me baby, what did you say to me, after I told you that I'd like to get spanked?" Harry hums, eyes boring into Louis'.

"Let's do it then." Louis whispers, voice small compared to Harry's.

"That's right baby, and that's exactly what I'm going to say to whatever you'd like to do. It doesn't matter baby, I just don't want you to feel uncomfortable, 's all."

"'M not - 'M not uncomfortable." Louis assured quietly.

"Then what are you? Your blush's tellin' me otherwise, baby." Harry coos as he tried not to smile. Louis is cute with a blush, he's always cute.

"'M just - You're really gonna think 'm weird." He murmured, averted his gaze again, looking down at their bodies pressed against each other.

"Babe, I'm really not. Promise." Harry assured him, with a kiss or two on both cheeks. "I hate seeing you so flustered baby, and you don't have to tell me but it'd make me really happy. Then I'd know what to do to make you happy too."

"Happ _ier_ ," Louis corrected weakly. "You'd make me happ _ier_ , 'm already happy."

"Alright, happ _ier_. I want to make you happier." Harry nuzzled into Louis' neck, the skin still radiating heat.

Louis took a deep breath. Inhale, exhale, he knew the drill. He had never shared this with anyone, not any of his previous boyfriends, best friends, no one. He was barely sure he knew this himself, to be honest. But, Harry wasn't anyone. Harry was, he was everything to Louis. He was the one person who could make Louis, Louis goddamn Tomlinson, stutter or do a complete fool out of himself. He was the one person who made Louis knees weak, the one person who knew more about him than anyone else ever had gotten the chance too. He was the one person who knew exactly how to work Louis up, which buttons to press and which one to leave untouched. And it was scary sometimes, how willing Louis was to give himself, his mind and soul, to Harry. How he could give up the privilege to breath for him.

Well. There it kinda was. _The thing he'd like to try._

Louis wasn't a freak, or, he'd like to believe it when Harry said so. But he wants so much, so, so, _so_ much for Harry to, to kinda strangle him. And when you put it like that, yes, he does sound like a total freak.

He just wants Harry to choke him, and not on his cock like he can do sometimes. No, he wants that abnormally large hand wrapped around his throat, cutting the airflow of painfully slow so it leaves Louis gasping for air, desperate and _hot_. It's so hot, sometimes Louis' brain just dies from overheating once he gets stuck in the spiral of thoughts of _breathplay._ He's always liked Harry's hands, how big they are, how soft they ware, and how good a bruise shaped like that would look on Louis' neck.

Fuck, even though they literally just had sex, Louis feels himself getting slightly harder from just thinking about it. Fuck.

"See baby," Harry says when he notices how Louis semi twitches against his side. "I wanna know what gets you like that."

"You, always you." Louis must say that, because it is. Harry makes his mind go absolutely crazy sometimes, and he loves it.

"Yeah," Harry huffs out a laugh, "I hope so. But, what are you doing to me that makes you like _thati_?"

Louis bites down on his lower lip, eyes flickering between _Harry, wall, Harry, chest, Harry, roof._

"Or, maybe, what am _I_ doing to _you?"_ Harry suggests carefully. Louis sighs once, deep and as if to clear his head, say _fuck it_.

"Okay. Okay, 'm gonna tell you. But I - Don't freak out. Or, you can, obviously, but I'd re - "

He's cut short by Harry, with a finger on his lips, and he stops straight away.

"I won't. Promise. Across my heart and all that, promise you." Harry murmurs against his lips, breath warm and the fingers gone and they're kissing. No tongue, just, kissing. Louis melts in his embrace, how Harry's practically on top of him right now, pushes him down a bit in the mattress. He likes it like that, he likes _them_ like that.

"Okay. I - Okay. Fuck." Louis closes his eyes just for a second, then he refocuses on Harry. Harry looks so, so warm and mild and Louis feels almost guilty to even think that Harry would ever think Louis is a freak. "But, if you don't want it Haz, I don't wanna force you to it either, just because that'll make me happy. Happ _ier_."

"Alright baby. But I'm sure we'll work something out, yeah?"

Louis nods, short and firm. "Yeah."

And the thing is, they've been rough before. They've tied each other up, used toys and whatnot to get the most pleasure out of each other as possible. But this is different, it's not something everyone likes or even gets turned on by. It's - You could kill someone like that. Louis knows the risks, he's read them through more times that he'd like to admit. He's read how to do it properly, seen several videos (of course), because he doesn't want to throw himself in it unprepared. That's far to dangerous for something like this. Wikipedia refers it as 'Erotic asphyxiation', and the more he reads, the more he _wants._

So whatever embarrassment he's got left, he pushes right through it, ignores it.

"I, um. I'd like you to choke me."

The room goes dead silent for a couple of seconds. Frankly, Louis expects laughter from Harry's side. He does not however, intend for it to come out like that, the look on Harry's face is telling him that he _really_ need to rephrase that.  

"I mean, not choke _choke_ me like I do when you fuck my mouth." He hurriedly explains as he observes Harry's puzzled face. "I mean that I kinda, want you to like, strangle me?"

Harry's eyebrows shoots up to that, and Louis understands it.

"That came out totally wrong! I don't want you to _strangle me_ , well. Maybe just, a little?" Louis feels his cheeks being reheated (like they were ever cool), and he wants Harry to push him deeper down the mattress, in hope it'll devour him completely. Fuck.

"You want me to strangle you, a little?" Harry's voice can't be read. Louis can't determine how he's feeling about this. But he guesses he's not fairly opposed to it, due to the calmness in his reaction. So.

"Yeah. Like, wrap your hand around my neck, make me gasp a little. Maybe a lot." Louis cock twitches again, and now, _now_ Harry seems to get that this is real.

"You'd like that?" Harry asks but before Louis gets to answer, he answers it himself. "God, I know you would. Look at you, I can feel you against my stomach, Lou. You're already hard again. Fuck, that's hot."

And wow. That was _not_ what Louis was expecting. Not at all. Seriously, if he'd write a list of reactions, this wouldn't even be on it. Not a chance.

"You don't - don't think I'm a freak then?" Louis whispers and Harry viciously shakes his head, causing his curls to bounce.

"No. No, my god Louis, that's so hot. I'd totally be in on doing that." Harry exclaims happily, thumb back to caressing Louis' cheek.

"You sure? You don't have to." Louis murmurs hastily but quiet.

"I'm so sure. Let's do it, then." Harry says, mimicking Louis tone of voice.

"Oh god." Louis groans, pulls Harry down to kiss him with all he has left in his body. The blush isn't completely gone, but certainly less prominent now than before. His body feels so free, so released and it's like he can breathe again. (No pun intended.)

Harry kisses him back fiercely, but it breaks within seconds because Harry's grinning so damn wide.

"What?" Louis laughs because he can't contain it. Harry looks so full of himself, in the best way possible.

"You were so ashamed, of _that?_ Baby, you don't ever have to be ashamed of something you'd like to try. Promise me that."

"I'm sorry Haz, it was.. I was just scared you'd think I was weird. I'm sorry, I won't do it again. Promise." Louis smiles, all the way from his toes.

"I don't believe you, say it again." Harry leans in closer, noses brushing.

"I promise you I won't ever be ashamed of something like that again." Louis laughed, gripping the back of Harry's head and tousled his fingers in Harry's curls.

"That's more like it."

And with that, Harry kissed him again.Tongue were very much involved in this kiss though, slid familiarly against each other.

"You want me to take care of you, or do you wanna go to sleep?" Harry murmured against Louis lips once he pulled back, breath warm and sweet.

"I'd like to go to sleep, kinda wore me out in the first round babe." Louis laughed, earned one more peck before they shuffled around on the bed again. Harry spooned him, Louis' back against Harry's chest as their fingers intertwined with each other on the space in front of Louis' chest.

"I love you." Harry whispered into Louis' hair, pressed one last peck there before he fell asleep before he could hear Louis response.

"I love you too."

 

*~*

 

It's not until almost a week later, that they're in bed again, about to have sex for the first time since Louis told Harry _that._

Harry had taken it so good, really. The day after he'd been the same Harry, not even commenting negatively nor positively on it. So, Louis just kinda assumed they weren't going to do anything about it. Which was fine, completely fine, since their sex life before was aces, and still were.

But then, Harry had him pressed up against their front door, hands fitted perfectly around Louis' bum.

"God, wanna fuck you so badly." Harry said into the crook of Louis' neck, the words releasing a _want_ in Louis that hadn't been there before. They had just walked inside the door, had spent their afternoon at Zayn's with Liam and him, and then Harry just pushed him up against the goddamn door. Which, he didn't mind though. Oh, quite the opposite really.

"Can't even wait 'til we're in our room. _Christ,_ you horny bastard."

He barely catches the ridiculous smirk on Harry's face, before he's tugged by a firm grip of his hand towards their bedroom.

He lands on the bed, back first thankfully, and watches amusedly as Harry came to straddle his thighs.

"You satisfied now? We're in our room, so can I please, pretty please do some things to you?" Harry hoovers above him, forearms placed beside Louis' head.

"Depends, what _things_ are you going to do to me?" Louis teases, mewls as Harry sucks a lovely bruise in the junction where his neck meets his shoulder.

"Oh I'm gonna fuck you, so fucking deep. You won't be able to sit for _days_." Harry tugs at his shirt, rucks it up to his armpits before Louis catches the drift and helps him to pull it off completely.

"But I like to sit," Louis pouts. "But I do like to get fucked even more."

" _Fuck,_ Lou. Can't just say things like that." Harry growls from where he's unbuttoning Louis' jeans, fingers working as fast as they can in this state. Louis smiles smugly, loves it when Harry gets like this. He'd probably break the world record for how fast someone's undressed someone, because when he's like this, he's _fast as fuck._

Louis's naked in record time, cock's curved upwards against his stomach, hard and leaking. He scoots up on the bed, so that he's closer to the headboard while Harry finishes to undress himself. His jeans are unimaginably tight, Louis still can't to this day figure out how on earth he gets into them in the morning. He likes them better when they're off Harry's pretty, slender legs anyway.

Harry grabs the lube from the nightstand before he crawls into the space between Louis' legs that Louis had made for him.

"You look so good babe, so fucking good. Always does." Harry says solemnly as he places the lube right beside Louis' waist for now, and leans down to kiss _his_ boy. His, his, _his._ No one else's. He loves to mark Louis' up, even though the press goes absolutely mad once he does. But he can't help it, can't help to mark his fucking boy, his fucking boyfriend. However, he tries to do it in places no one but him'll see, like the inside of his thighs, or the crease where the curve of his bum meets his luscious thighs.

Or where he's in the process of doing one right now, in the middle of Louis' V-line. Louis mewls softly, and it sounds much like music to Harry's ears.

"C'mon, stop that shit. Fuck me Harry, c'mon, fuck me." Louis whines, arches his back in some kind of attempt to seek more friction, more _anything_ that Harry's not providing him at this moment.

"Patience babe, we'll get there soon enough. Wanna blow you while I finger you open, think you can handle that?" Harry asks as he reaches out for the lube. He sits back on his knees, watches when Louis nods his head.

"Yeah, yeah I can." Louis knows he won't, he'll probably end up begging for Harry to let him cum, he always does.

"Good, because I will fuck you afterwards, even if you're sensitive or not, babe."

With that, Harry slicks his four fingers up, smears the lube evenly on all of them.

"Warn me if you're gonna cum, okay?" He instructs, not really expecting much of an answer as he leans down the grasp Louis cock in the hand he's got not covered in lube. Louis whimpers at the long awaited contact, sighs immediately afterwards as Harry begins to stroke him slowly.

The sudden heat makes him yelp in surprise, opens his eyes right away to the most beautiful sight ever. Harry's got his pretty, red lips wrapped around Louis' cock, glancing up on Louis' with those big, doe-like, green eyes and Louis can't keep it botteled inside of him.

"Fuck Haz. You look - look so good, take me so good and I - I, _shit._ You're so fucking good at this - Your lips were, were made for this. _Shit, shi_ -" He ends it with a moan, long and out-drawn from somewhere deep down his throat.

He feels the slick finger that starts to circle around his rim, getting the area as slick as possible before it slowly sinks down inside of him.  
"Fuck," he curses lowly. Harry keeps on bobbing his head to the rhythm he's built up with his one finger up in Louis' arse.

"C'mon, 'nother one Haz. Wan't you to fuck me, _c'mon_." Louis urges after he's gotten used to that one, lanky index finger of Harry's. And not too soon after that's been said, another lanky finger joins the first one. Louis shudders at the intrusion, remembers that it's almost been a week since last time he bottomed. So.  
He quickly looks down att Harry, which is a mistake by the way. He almost cums, just from seeing Harry, bobbing his head up and down and simply looks breathtakingly beautiful like that.

"Fuck Haz, get me open quicker. And get your mouth off' me, not gonna last." He adds that as an afterthought, watched how Harry's pulls off with a wet 'pop'. "Show off," he mutters under his breath once Harry's ususal smirk turns into a smug one.

He's got three fingers up Louis' arse, and still manages to be cocky. Fucking prick.

"You think you can handle that Louis? _Of course I can._ " He mocks, and Louis has the wittiest and sassiest comeback ever known to man on the tip of his tongue, and then... Then Harry's fingers prods against his prostate and fuck, his whole body jolts at that.

"Holy fuck, c'mon, get 'nside of me. Now Harry. Now, now, _now."_ Louis urges, a little breathless perhaps but Harry gets the gist of it. He pulls his slick fingers out of Louis, stares at how Louis clenches, around _absolutely nothing,_ and that's the sexiest thing he's ever seen.

They stopped wearing condoms a long time ago, once their relationship was so established that they realized; Why cover up their pricks? They had both been tested, everything was fine, and everything felt so much better without one.

So, Harry placed his thick cock just by the entrance, nudged the head of his cock inside.

"Fuck, c'mon, yes, _yes,_ feels so good. Keep on going, please Harry." Louis babbles, incoherently and probably embarrassingly but he can't bring himself to even care the slightest. Once the entire length is inside of him, he instinctively wraps his legs around Harry's bum, hooks his ankles so that Harry stays flushed against him.

"C'n I move, baby?" Harry mouths at his collarbone, tongue teasing the thin skin there, just teasing.

"Yeah, yeah." Louis breathes out heavily, puts his hands on Harry's cheeks to force him into a kiss. There isn't much forcing though, Harry does very willingly kiss Louis, always. He starts to pull his cock out, leaving the head inside, and then he slides back inside the tight heat.

"Always so tight," Harry hisses against Louis' lips, "Always so fucking tight."

Louis moans, connect their lips again, much filthier this time. Their finesse isn't quite there, though the tongue is _everywhere,_ even in places it shouldn't be. But it's good, so, so fucking good and Louis can't help but to whimper pathetically when Harry starts to pound into him with much more force.

"Oh my god." Louis whimpers weakly, throws his head back against the pillow.

And it that moment, when Harry's so up close and really sees Louis, sees how he practically exposes his entire throat to him, that's when it hits him. Louis wanted him to, well, _strangle him just a little._ He wanted that, he got off on that for crying out loud. And when he has his head thrown back like that, Harry can't help but to think, _maybe i do want to strangle you just a little._ He wants to make Louis gasp for air, wants to make his eyes blow wide. He wants it too.

"Lou, Louis." Harry calls as he keeps on thrusting into him. Louis responds, tilts his chin down so that he can look Harry in the eyes. "I wanna strangle you. A little."

And Lord Almighty and his sister Beyoncé, the look on Louis face makes Harry want to cum right now. He fucking beams like the sun itself, raises one eyebrow as if to say, _really?_

"If you want to - only if you - want to." Harry grunts out, teeth gritted since he wants it too, like really badly right now. He gingerly places his hand on Louis chest, high enough for his fingers to brush against his Adam's apple.

"I want to, _shit,_ I really want to." Louis begs, his whole body turns into nothing but sweat and goose bumps, all compliant and willing for Harry. And fuck, he's so submissive right now that Harry doesn't know what to do with himself. So he wraps a hand around Louis throat, cautiously to begin with, feels the bob of Louis' Adam's apple as Louis swallows. He realizes he need to start soon, otherwise he'll cum and this'll be all over.

"Shit, c'mon then Haz. You need to - to make me gasp for air, _c'mon_ I really want you to."

And with that, Harry's gone, gone and far away. He takes a firmer grip now around the narrow throat, squeezes the soft skin a little bit tighter while he's pushing Louis' throat downwards. Louis' breath gets audible heavier, more raspier as he actually starts to gasp. Harry keeps on thrusting into him, hard and relentless even though he's got his fucking hand around Louis' throat.

"Tell me if it's to much," he says and pushes down a little bit more. Then, Louis couldn't speak in his condition right now, so, "or you know, pinch me or something."

Louis blinks twice, a little bit slower than usual but Harry takes it as a yes anyhow. He decides to dig his nail into Louis' skin, wants to leave a mark, as badly as Louis wants him to. Even with his airflow slightly cut off, Louis keeps on letting out those weak whimpers, who's only getting weaker and weaker as Harry's tightening his grip around Louis throat.

After a particularly loud gasp, Harry releases the pressure quite a bit, considers that Louis might actually need air to survive. Duh.

"You okay?" He asks carefully, though he keeps his hand around Louis' throat.

"Yeah." Louis croaks out, and _fuck,_ he sounds completely and utterly wrecked and Harry growls from deep down his throat and pounds harder now, balls slapping against Louis' bum harshly with every goddamn thrust.

"Again? Then you cum for me, yeah?" Harry watches as Louis nods, merely, but he sees it. He tightens his grip again, pushes Louis back a bit deeper down the mattress. He's so close, so fucking close to fill Louis up like so many times before, but this time's different. He's got his hand wrapped around the love of his life's throat, he feel so ridiculously powerful like this. He feels like he could challenge the Queen of England for her spot, and easily win. Not due to the fact that she's quite a bit older than him, no, more because he's in that position that he knows that _he's_ in charge. Louis knows that, and he obeys and just takes it as Harry thrusts into him and fucking _strangles him a little,_ he just takes it. And loves it.

"I'm gonna, cum - Gonna cum soon - fuck Lou." Harry's not making much sense, no he knows that but fuck everything's so good right now.

Louis feels like he's floating. His head's spinning, like, good spinning and not the bad kind. He feels giddy and light-headed, has a hard time trying to keep his eyes open. He barely gets any air down his lungs, he gasps and gasps to desperately suck down _something, anything_ , and he absolutely loves it. He's being treated like a ragdoll, and he's dancing on the edge to pass out from the lack of oxygen. He curses himself for not letting Harry know of this before, because this is the best sex he's ever had and, _fuck_ he's close. He was close already when Harry asked him if he could wrap his large hand around his petite throat, he could've probably cummed right there and then.

And it hits him hard, harder than a punch in your face or a blow to your stomach. It's not the same pain, because this, this is no pain. This is bliss and giddiness, love and happiness and everything good in the world. He's painting the space between his own and Harry's stomach white, spurting the cum without any real kind of warning to Harry. Not that he could've though, Harry's still got his hand pushing down a bit on Louis' throat.

Harry follows suit rather quickly, the spasm when Louis cums makes his bum tighten for just a couple of seconds, but it's more than enough to tip Harry over. He completely freezes when the cum starts to shoot inside of Louis, his curls hangs in his eyes and he probably should be annoyed by it but he's not. He doesn't even feel them, and once he's done cumming, he slowly releases the grip he has on Louis throat.

Shit. Had he been too rough? He's still almost equally as giddy as Louis, when he slumps down beside the worn out boy.

"Hey." Harry says softly as he places a comforting hand on Louis' heaving chest. So Harry's not the only one this was breathtaking for. Good to know.

"Hi." Louis croaks, voice still sounding so fucking wrecked, and it cracks even on that short word.

"Oh god, I'm sorry." Harry apologizes before he can stop himself, shuffles closer to the smaller boy and clings to his side like double sided tape.

"I'm not." Louis smiles, and it certainly looks like he's high. Maybe he is. On sex. On Harry.

"Great. I wasn't really either. You sound so fucking hot." Harry laughs, nuzzles into the crook of Louis' neck the best he can and completely ignores how they're both sweaty and probably covered in cum.

Both of them are quiet for a while, catches their breath again, brings it down to a normal rate. Louis stirs around then, positioning himself so that he and Harry are facing each other.

"Thank you." He whispers, that's probably the loudest he can go with his voice so ruined.

Harry pulls him back into his comforting arms, still ignoring how they could both really use a shower. "Thank _you_. I enjoyed this too, you know. Maybe too much. Is your throat okay?"

"Probably gonna have bruises tomorrow." Louis says softly, not angrily like Harry might've expected him too.

"Is that okay? You wanted that too, right?" Harry asks nervously. He never wanted to hurt Louis. Never ever.

"I wanted that too, Haz." Louis confirms, wiggles his bum against Harry so that they're impossibly closer.

"Okay. Okay baby, then everything's alright. And that was probably the best sex we've ever had."

"Are you saying that it was bad before?" Louis smirks against the sheet, loves how Harry's tripping over his words.

"No, no. No, not at all babe. It was - still is - fucking great. Just, this was great too. Everything's great with you. All sex we've had is the best, sorry. I don't think tha -"

"Shut up babe, 'm just messin' with ya. Now cuddle me real good and nap with me." Louis yawns after that, closes his eyes and feels the tiredness take him under in a heartbeat.

"Yeah, okay. Love you babe." Harry whispers into his hair, as if it's a secret when it's quite the opposite.

 

"Love you too." Is the last thing Louis says before he's completely out, drifting far away into the world of sleep and dreams.

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](http://huntheygay.tumblr.com/) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/louisftbum)
> 
> and i love you all who reads this even if you didn't like this  
> and once again im so sorry this is probably shit but thank you for reading,  
> bye and have a great day/night/life :):)


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